If you read my last post about the retreat, you know that I signed up for it after seeing one post on social media because my word for 2026 was expand, and my biggest takeaway was releasing control. But when I think back to what actually pulled me toward this trip in the first place, it was the women. I wanted to learn from them, be inspired by them, and connect with women in various industries, with different backgrounds than mine. The room you put yourself in matters. Surround yourself with people who are further along in some way, and you'll always learn something. You are who you surround yourself with, and that was the biggest draw for me. I genuinely wanted to learn from these women, I wanted to travel somewhere new, and I wanted a new experience.
One-on-One Over Groups, and That's Okay
I love connecting with people, especially women, and I love one-on-one work. Group settings are a lot harder for me because I get drained a lot faster. Going into this retreat, I really only knew my business coach, and I'd briefly connected with a couple of the other women online beforehand. Otherwise, I walked in not knowing anyone, not knowing what to expect or what the personalities would be like, and it was group activities all day, every day. I don't have social anxiety, but I do get overstimulated and, as a result, fatigued and overwhelmed, and that showed up for me the entire week. For me, it's not a fear of speaking up or sharing about myself. I like meeting people and connecting with them. It just takes more out of me, and that's okay.
I Underestimated the Jet Lag
Here's the part I didn't see coming. I underestimated how I would feel with the jet lag, and honestly, that's a lesson in itself, because I always think I can tough it out. I've been to Europe enough times that a six or seven hour time difference doesn't really faze me anymore. A twelve or thirteen hour time difference is a completely different animal, and I didn't give myself much buffer before or after. We (I brought my mom along with me!) did stop in South Korea for two nights on the way there, which helped enormously, but we still landed in Bali at ten p.m. the night before the retreat started. Coming home, I had sessions scheduled the same day I landed, which in hindsight was not a good idea. My body basically said, stop doing so much.
I started feeling sick around day two of the retreat, and it just kept progressing because I didn't want to miss out on anything, so I pushed through. I'm someone who rarely gets sick, and normally if I catch it early, take medicine, and rest, I bounce back fast. This time I was sick for almost three weeks. It took nearly two weeks home before I finally felt like myself again. The flight back, a nine hour leg to Abu Dhabi and then another twelve hours to DC, I have never felt sicker while traveling in my life. My body was screaming at me. I ended up rescheduling a couple of sessions the first few days I was back, because I just couldn't push through anymore. I owed that to myself and to my clients.
There's No Shame in Knowing Your Limits
This was such a wake up call. Being a high achiever, being someone who's used to being busy, I constantly hear other therapists talk about seeing maybe ten, fifteen, twenty clients a week, max. I've seen thirty a week for the past nine years, and I've always prided myself on having this endless capacity. This past year taught me that I do not have an endless capacity, and there is no shame in slowing down. There's no shame in finding balance, it's actually necessary and I'm going to start priding myself in that!
I don't regret pushing through to be part of as much of the retreat as I could. But boarding that flight home, sicker than I've ever been while traveling, I could feel my body telling me something. I've gone to sleep at nine p.m. more nights than I can count since getting home, I even fell asleep on my couch at seven p.m. last Friday night, and still slept straight through to seven a.m. I want to build in real time off before and after trips going forward, and eventually lighten my weekly schedule too, that's part of the expansion, instead of squeezing everything in. There is no shame in understanding your limits and taking the time you need.
None of this means never stepping outside your comfort zone or pushing yourself. I'm all for that, I wouldn't have gone on this retreat or done half the things we did otherwise. It just means also knowing yourself, trusting yourself, listening to your body, and giving yourself permission to slow down when you need to. It reinforced something I already knew about myself, I have so much more capacity for one-on-one connection than I do for group settings, and that's not wrong, it's just information. I know now that being in a group is going to require more recharge time afterward, and I'm okay with that.
We even did a Kundalini activation at one point, something I'd never done before and knew nothing about, and I was so tired I went in with the full intention of using it to sleep, which is very much not what it's for. That's how tired I was. It's so important to not just slow down, but to actually listen to what your body is telling you.
A Few Other Things I Took Away
This trip also confirmed how I am really not that into small talk. I want to know the deep things about the people I meet. I want to know your story, what you're passionate about, what your fears are, what your dreams are. That's how I connect with people, and it just solidified that I'm doing exactly what I was meant to be doing, and I love it.
I mentioned the cacao ceremony, the tantra breathwork, and the dance therapy in my last post, but here's the detail I left out. During the dance therapy, we each had a partner, and we had to mirror each other doing a sexy dance of our choosing. Then, one at a time, we each went into the middle of the circle to do a silly dance. Not long ago, this would have mortified me, I would have felt so uncomfortable and hesitant. By the time it was my turn, I just went with it. I didn't get in my head, I didn't think anyone was looking at me strangely, because everyone else had to do the exact same thing. I just moved my body.
And I realized something in that moment. When you connect that deeply with people, it's less scary to do vulnerable things. When you've been vulnerable and open with someone, and they've been vulnerable and open with you, you're less self-conscious, because you already know the deep stuff about each other. So doing something as silly as a solo dance in front of them suddenly feels like no big deal. That's a huge takeaway on its own.
Releasing Isn't a One-Time Thing
As a psychologist, I've written down my limiting beliefs, crossed them out, and ripped them up plenty of times. I've done it all. But standing around a fire pit that first night with all these women, saying out loud what we were releasing and burning it, that was powerful in a different way. I spoke up and shared with the women that it's not something you say once and it never comes up again. It probably will come back. You just choose to release it again, and again, and the more you choose it, the more natural it becomes. Two weeks out from the retreat, I can already feel how much less self-conscious I am. I feel like I can show up as myself and do the things I want to do. And if I find myself wondering what someone might think, it just passes. It doesn't affect me the same way it used to.
If you want to try it yourself, write down the beliefs you hold about yourself that are holding you back, the ones that limit you, your fears, your doubts, your insecurities. If you can do it safely, burn them. Say them out loud, declare that you're releasing them, and set them on fire somewhere safe.
Go on a Retreat
If there's one thing I want every woman reading this to take away, it's this: invest in yourself. It doesn't matter what you're dealing with or what your background is, whether you're a mom, a business owner, a high achiever, Type or Type B, the daughter of an immigrant, or you are trying to figure out who you are and what you want in your life. Look up a retreat. Connect with other women from all walks of life. I promise you it will change your life.
The thing about a retreat is you're usually somewhere you've never been, meeting women you've never met, being vulnerable, sharing things you don't normally share. It teaches you so much about yourself, and you end up inspired by the women around you. It doesn't have to be a business retreat, it can be a wellness retreat, a healing retreat, whatever kind speaks to you. There are so many out there. I know my audience here is mostly women, that's who I'm speaking to directly, but I think this could benefit anyone. What I took from this retreat, what every woman there took from it, felt like magic. I hope everyone reading this finds her version of it.
The Rose Colored Couch is here to inspire, encourage reflection, and educate, but these posts aren't a substitute for therapy. My hope is to help you shift how you see yourself and your story. Take what resonates, leave what doesn't, and be gentle with yourself along the way.
