When I sat down to pick my word for 2026, I chose expand. For me, to expand means I stop living within invisible limits. It means allowing myself to want more, experience more, and to receive it with ease. I expand beyond fear, and opt out of old rules about what's possible for me. I take up space in my business, my relationships, and my life, knowing I am safe, capable, and deeply supported. That's literally how I defined expand, on January 1st.
I did have goals for this year, but I didn't map out exactly how I'd get there. I didn't sit down and plan step one, book a business retreat, step two, hire a coach, step three, start a whole new business. I just knew I wanted to grow in every area of my life. I wanted to stop shrinking, take up space, be visible, and fully be myself without limiting beliefs.
I did not go into 2026 anticipating that I'd book a business retreat to Bali, sign on with a business coach, and start building an entirely new coaching business. None of that was on my vision board in January. But it's August 1st, and that's exactly what I've done. That's what happens when you set an intention for the year. You know the direction you want to go in, you build momentum, and you let it unfold.
Three Years Ago, I Wouldn't Have Done This
Three years ago, I probably wouldn't have done any of this.
I would have been hesitant, intimidated, and even afraid to invest this much in myself. When I started my private practice three years ago, it had been sitting on my vision board since grad school. What held me back all that time wasn't a lack of desire, it was fear and a whole lot of limiting beliefs I didn't even know I was carrying. I'd also gotten stuck in a bit of a safety trap, because I was comfortable. It felt like taking a huge risk, when really, the risk would have been staying exactly as I was, not growing, not expanding. Then I actually did it, with a lot of support from my therapist, who also happens to be a business coach, and it gave me so much confidence. I remember thinking, wow, I can do anything I put my mind to. That was not nearly as hard as I built it up to be in my head.
That first year, I substantially passed my previous salary, working with the same caseload I'd always had. I wasn't working a lot more hours like I had thought I would, I just finally had my own business. And ever since, the growth has felt organic. That doesn't mean I haven't been uncomfortable. I've stepped outside my comfort zone plenty. But it hasn't felt forced either. It's felt like a natural progression.
Investing in How I Show Up
Last year, even with a full, thriving private practice, I decided I wanted to level up how I was showing up. I hired the incredible Lisa Scontras for a brand shoot, and she referred me to Katherine Bignon, who ended up doing so much more than styling one shoot, she completely transformed my wardrobe over the past year, which genuinely helped transform my identity. She also connected me with Katrina, an artist who created a custom backdrop and a handful of styling mats, pieces that have become a signature thread woven through my website, my photos, my colors. And then came a beautiful new website. It up-leveled me in a way I didn't fully expect.
So when 2026 started, I already knew there was more out there for me. Big dreams. I want to learn how to speak publicly, something that absolutely terrifies me. I want to go on podcasts, and eventually have my own. I look at other people in my field, and in fields near mine, doing all of this, and it doesn't make me think they're better than me, or more than me. It makes me think, I can do that too. I have something important and valuable to say. Why am I not doing that yet.
Enter Sarah, and the Retreat
Enter Sarah, my business coach. I'd already connected with her on social media when I saw her post about the retreat she was hosting in Bali. I saw it and thought, immediately, that's it. That's expansion. That's stepping outside my comfort zone. That's investing in myself. After connecting with her and seeing how she could guide me in my own expansion, I signed on for six months of coaching to truly step into my word this year and expand my business. Three years ago, I would have been terrified of that decision, or at the very least, I would have taken a lot longer to make it. But that's the thing about momentum, every decision leads you to the next one, and you grow by putting yourself in rooms with people who inspire you and teach you something.
On the first day of the retreat, we were asked what we wanted to get out of the experience. My answer was simple: I want to expand. I want to learn. I want to be inspired by the women around me. This retreat was full of female entrepreneurs, including another psychologist, identity transformation coaches, a public speaking coach, business and marketing coaches, women running brick-and-mortar businesses. Different fields, same energy. I get so inspired by who I surround myself with, personally and professionally, and I knew immediately this was the right room to be in.
There's also the fact that I have a travel bug I can't shake. Part of my expansion goal this year was traveling to ten new countries, literally. I set that goal for 2026. I'm at four so far, including the Netherlands, Portugal, and South Korea this year. I'm not sure I'll hit ten, but I've always believed in dreaming bigger than feels possible.
My Biggest Takeaway: Releasing Control
My biggest takeaway from this whole retreat, hands down: you can release control and still get what you want.
For context, I'm a high-achieving woman and the daughter of an immigrant, and my worth has been tied to achievement for as long as I can remember. Do more. Work hard. Be busy. Get to the top. I've worked hard on finding more balance, on working hard because it genuinely drives me, not because I need to prove something to feel okay about myself. Allowing myself to relax, to explore, to fill my cup. Traveling fills my cup. It inspires me. It's part of how I grow.
But when you're a high achiever, you probably want to control everything. In my business, I have been hesitant to hire help, on the back end, with social media, with funnels, whatever you want to call it, which is pretty uncommon for people in my field and in online business. I respond to every email myself, I produce all of my own content, I built my own freebie, my own landing page, all the backend stuff, myself, while maintaining a caseload of thirty clients a week. The idea of hiring someone and handing over control has genuinely scared me. But I can't keep up this pace forever, I'm burning out.
The Dinner That Tested Me
One of the days of the retreat involved a full excursion out in Bali, activities we didn't know about in advance, and it ended with a dinner built entirely around releasing control. We each pulled three tarot cards, one for our past, one for our present, one for our future, and each card corresponded to a dish on the menu. When they explained this, I panicked a little. I was still jet-lagged, exhausted, sick, and on my period, and the idea of not being able to choose the food I wanted felt unbearable. My mind was racing, and I felt like I had to defend myself, because I was thinking, this isn't about control, it's about choice, and I want choice. But I didn't want to be the only one at the table who wouldn't go with it, so I went with it.
And here's the thing. I still ended up with a meal I loved. I changed a few things that weren't quite my taste, and the rest of it was genuinely lovely. Releasing control didn't mean I had to settle for something I didn't want. It also didn't mean something terrible got forced on me. It just meant it was safe to release control, and still land somewhere good.
That's the message I keep coming back to. Releasing the need to micromanage every piece of my business. Releasing the need for everything to be perfect. Learning that I can relax into my life, enjoy it, receive support, and still end up exactly where I want to be.
It's also about releasing the need for a specific outcome, that attachment piece, needing things to be exactly how you want them, exactly when you want them. That's exhausting, and honestly, it hasn't served me. But here's the thing, you can still get what you want if you release control. That's the whole message.
Everything Else I Released
There was more releasing built into this retreat, too. On the first day, we wrote down our limiting beliefs and burned them in a fire pit. Mine were about caring what people think of me, that self-consciousness, and perfectionism, the need for everything to be flawless, which I've carried my whole life.
We did a cacao ceremony with tantra breathwork and dance therapy. A year ago, I would have felt so self-conscious doing any of that. Women in the group were sharing deeply personal things and expressing emotion openly in front of the whole group. I've always been an emotional person, I cry easily, that's never been my issue, but being that vulnerable in a larger group setting was new territory for me. At one point during the dance therapy, we each had to move into the center of the circle and do something silly, some kind of free, unscripted dance in front of everyone. I didn't have an ounce of self-consciousness left in me. I just moved. It was one of the most freeing, empowering moments of the whole trip.
I have so much more to unpack from this retreat, honestly probably enough for a part two, including what those tarot cards actually said. But if there's one thing I want you to take from this, it's that you don't have to choose between control and getting what you want. Sometimes releasing control is exactly what gets you there, and what helps you expand.
The Rose Colored Couch is here to inspire, encourage reflection, and educate, but these posts aren't a substitute for therapy. My hope is to help you shift how you see yourself and your story. Take what resonates, leave what doesn't, and be gentle with yourself along the way.
